Digging in the dirty X-files

The other day it just burst. All of it. Out in the open.
The loaded, dirty, X-file. The X-file of my life, containing all the shit gathered during 14 years on-and-off relationship.
And it was not a sight for sore eyes. It was the most brutta figura ever.

Not being comfortable with it, I suggested cleansing it. Vacuuming it. Getting rid of it. Which in turn evolved to some kind of reminding argument about what and why that person is my X.

Now, after almost a week of masochistic behaviour I´m actually quite fed up with it. But still, part of me wants to throw it all away, where I never can find it again and just get rid of it. Part of me wants to keep it, very close to my heart.
Lord, am I being cheesy....it´s not really my stylee to go on about emotional shit like this, but I guess it can´t, and shouldn´t, be ignored in ones life.

It feels good to know though that this time and this shit will pass. Now I´m going to change into some black stuff and go celebrate todays birthdaygirl, my fabulous friend Be.