Return of the Gonzombie

It came back today and just left, the stubborn arsehole likes to visit I guess and who am I to blame it. Felt really bad this morning but somehow I got through and got things done, stopped by VeckoRevyn to pick up books, chat a bit with Sparkling Sunshine and the other guys and say hello to new boss, Ebba.
It´s really a different vibe there now. Somehow you can still feel the spirits of Charlotta, Kicki, Maria and Anna, like soft glitter on the harsh walls.

After that the Gonzombie had to call it a day. Went grocery shopping - am now starting project "Try to eat even though nobody is watching". With all the fire accident-shit I totally lost my appetite for food. Spoke with my father this evening and really had to force myself not to cry. Or at least not make him notice me crying, parents tend to start worrying and I don´t want that. Apparently the wound on his arm is healing very well, but the pain on his thigh from where the surgeouns took the tissue was a real bitch after the aenesthesia stopped working its magic.

I really, really want my father to come home now. Hopefully he & Isabel will next week.
I know I´m kind of pathethic, my brother always tells me to cut the umbilical cord once and for all, but it´s not that easy. And it´s no Freudian Electra-stuff or similar.
It all comes down to one thing, and it´s the fact that the moment my father gave me, my brother and Isabel the possibility to have a life with more freedom, opportunities, choices - he gave me wounds that are so deep they´ll take an awful lot of time to repair. If they ever. Hence my issues. I can´t stand being to close to someone - and that goes for both lovers and friends - cause I´m disgustingly aware of the fact that they can disappear whenever.

Stupid fucking sentimental Gonzombie. It´s all it´s fault. Cause hangovers do that to the brain, the cells are so poisoned they don´t do other stuff than produce anguish, remorse and sentimental shit. Nonetheless - I will never give up having fun and enjoying nice beverages.